What Is Codependency?


This section deals with a range of thinking patterns and behaviours that inevitably lead to painful and imbalanced relationships. These unhelpful thinking and behavioural patterns have been given the term codependency.


What Is Codependency?

The term ‘codependency’ has been around since the 1980s to describe a mental health condition. However, it has never been included in the DSM due to lack of empirical evidence and failure to provide a unified description of it. And yet, hundreds of books have been written about this condition and millions of people identify as codependents.

Many criticise the codependency model as an invention of the self-help industry for financial gains. Some see it as an attack on cultural or stereotypically feminine traits and behaviours. Others completely deny its existence.

This page does not debate the existence or formulation of codependency. Instead, it focuses on providing a deeper understanding of one’s inner world so that change is possible.


Codependency Destroys Connection

Living with codependency robs us from the very thing we all crave: true connection and love. And yet, when we become familiar with all that codependency entails, we realise that the label in itself might trap us even further within codependent patterns.

Love with Clarity aims to become the antidote to codependency. It endorses a different approach to understanding and dealing with codependency. This approach is based on extensive research and proven scientific methods that empower people to break free from the thought-created codependent prisons.

We are looking to bring about change that challenges old, distorted thinking patterns, shifts habitual behaviours and clears our minds from unrealistic expectations and pressures that suffocate any chance of ever experiencing real connection and love.


Liberation from Codependent Patterns

This is not the place to keep the Drama Triangle going. It is not the place where we focus on labelling others as narcissists so we can remain trapped in our victim mentality.

This is the place where we escape from the prison of our codependent minds and gain clarity about ourselves, our feelings, our needs, our wants and how to love fully and deeply.

We do not reinforce the notion of people addiction or love addiction. We do not dirty and shame our innate human need for belonging and connection.

At times, we may use traditional verbiage to make our work easy to understand. All content is intended to guide us out of the codependent mindset. It is based on the true understanding of the human condition and how our minds work.


The Way Out of Codependency

Codependency is not a life-sentence. We are not eternal victims. Somewhere along the line we just ended up believing too many lies. Let’s go on a journey together to free ourselves from them. Once and for all.

We do not create further lies that tell us we are powerless.

Here we take the power back. And with that we open up to change. We open up to finally living the human experience in all its beauty. We open up to loving ourselves and others. Loving without the constraints of painful thinking patterns, behaviours that guarantee we will achieve the opposite of what we want and painful patterns of relating.

We finally get to open up to love.

And we learn to love with clarity.


What Is Codependency?


The Support Group For You

Feel free to join Marlena’s Facebook group ‘Codependency Today’ for support while liberating yourself from codependent habits:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/CodependencyToday/



External Focus in Codependency

Shifting Away from the External Focus of Codependency

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Brutal Honesty in Codependency

Is Brutal Honesty Required to End Codependency?

Do we need to be brutally honest with ourselves to end our codependent patterns? Or could approaching ourselves with compassion...
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The Hidden Truths About Rescuing: When ‘Helping’ Isn’t Helping

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We experience a wide range of feelings when we first learn about codependency. We start to join the dots and...

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At the end of a relationship we often wonder what went wrong. We try to figure out what happened. We...
Equality in Relationships

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  We live in a world in which most people strive to earn or experience love while completely misunderstanding what...
What is Codependency?

What Is Codependency?

It is currently impossible to provide a unified description of codependency as many researchers and authors have all come up...